Bipolar Relationship, Tanisha Nicole Billops
Have you ever been with a person that made you feel as if YOU were bipolar? Even though you have never been clinically diagnosed with bipolar. Even if you had never been diagnosed, if you knew what bipolar felt like this relationship would be close to it.
Say I, if you’ve been in a relationship with someone who made your head spin. What I mean is, when the relationship is on point you feel as if you can conquer the world together. The sex is great, you enjoy many of the same things together, you have aligned goals, dreams, expectations, and similar ambitions in life. When you are with this person, you feel so satisfied. You even envisioned spending the rest of your life with this person for F’ing sake! You feel as if you have found your soul mate. They are your best friends. You can tell them anything and you can be yourself with them. The perfect relationship.
Then…the set backs happen. Something has made the person upset. It could have been a bad day at work, a business deal gone south, a negative encounter of some sorts. Some thing that sets the other person off. You try to make them feel better by trying to convince your love to look at the brighter side of things. It could always be worse you tell the love of your life, but now they are moody, aloof, and depressed and your optimism is getting on their nerves. Since they know the most about you, out of frustration and anger at the situation they say something to you so insulting that it hits the deepest of your core. Their mean words hit you like a dagger piercing your heart. Then they may even start to blame you for their problems and setbacks. The put downs continue. You decide to forgive them. It’s just the situation that has upset them, not you. You decided to be the bigger person and to talk to your mate about what went down and how they don’t need to take their frustration out on you. You were just trying to cheer them up for God sake!
When you try to talk to them, they down play the scenario. They accuse you of being petty or drama ridden. They put all blame on you. This bending of the truth upsets you, but yet you walk away from the conversation feeling guilty. You are now depressed. You cannot focus on anything but the problems that you are your love are going through. You start to question everything and wonder if you could spend the rest of your life with some one who is so self centered, honoree and down right mean. One part of you tells you to leave and the other tells you to stay. You rationalize it you think about how many years you have invested. You feel unhappy and miserable.
They next day, they come to you with a rose to make peace, and they says something sweet and refreshing. Reminding you why you chose them and the cycle continues.
Consumed by two emotions.